Sitting at the front desk (of the hotel in which I work) I have a view of the entire lobby. I wouldn’t say it’s necessarily a bad view….It tends to change with the incoming/outgoing of guests… Sometimes it’s boring and other times it can be quite amusing….
Tonight I’m sitting at the desk (per usual) watching the clock, counting down the minutes until 7am… and a man, with several drinks under his belt, walks through the lobby from the bar. He is about to head up the dreaded stairs (the nemesis of drunks…and yet the entertainment of the sober)….when he realizes the tray of cookies next to the stairs. He quickly (and off balance) turns and starts mumbling and laughing at me…then points at the cookies with a HUGE smile!...Not knowing exactly what he means, I encourage him with a smile of my own and pretend to get back to my work… (It’s best not to keep eye contact with them for too long, for fear of encouraging a conversation)…
So he begins to bend over to get a cookie and starts to lose balance… so he straightens up and prepares himself for another go….he bends over again this time completely loosing balance and face plants into the table and lands on the ground…(meanwhile I’m stifling my giggles, and trying to ask him if he is ok at the same time…not an easy task)…. He gets up once more…and with a new found determination he bends completely over and stays in this position for a minute or two…..
…and to my complete and utter horror…. I see the moon…his moon….
TWO…GIANT…WHITE…BUTTCHEEKS…(and a little crack on the side)
He then proceeds to straighten up with his cookie, turn and shoot me a wink, and walk up the stairs…..
And I think I vomited a little in my mouth…
